Apparently my first list of 16 wasn’t long enough. I must be a very interesting person. :)

Because my list has gotten so lengthly, I’ve decided to split it into 25 parts, posting 1 or 2 a day. That leaves me time to complete the list without overwhelming you when I finally post it. I’ll compile them all into 1 post when it’s completed and tag you all in there. But for now:

1) My real name is Fei.

It’s a very complicated issue. Let me explain: It was meant to sound like the name Faye but it’s Chinese ??. Yet to me and my parents, Fei and Faye are two completely different names. I started primarily using the anglicized version of my name when I was around 15-16. That was when I started really wanting to be American and trying to shed my Malaysian Chinese heritage. It was also about then that I’d started perfecting my American accent. (Yes, my current accent is not what I grew up speaking. I perfected it outside of the US, and it’s become the accent I think in, but I switch to Malaysian English when I am back home or around non-native English speakers). I made a lot of internet friends during my teens (mostly Americans), so with friends that only knew the “American” side of me, I’d developed a new identity with a new name to go with it. It really stuck once I went to the US for college.

I still feel like Fei and Faye have a separate identity. Faye is kind of a public figure – kind of like a pseudonym I got famous under, if you will – and Fei is much more intimate and reserved for family and the boyfriend (ex-boyfriends have to revert to calling me Faye or I get really annoyed).

I used to have a strained relationship with my Chinese name. I felt like Faye was more who I was – because that’s the me I had chosen to become on my own and had no strings attached. I always knew however, that I would turn back to my roots somehow (and stop offending my poor mother). And sure enough, now that I’ve grown up a little, and spent so much time in China working out my place between East and West, I think I’ve completely resolved my relationship with my heritage and instead of being somewhat ashamed of it and trying to reject it like I had been before, it’s really become a part of who I am – a part that I really love.

I’ve decided that instead of taking the opportunity to legally change my name to Faye when I get married to Christopher, I’ll keep Fei and actually start using it for the wedding. I’ll have to shed my Chinese last name anyway, so I’ll want to keep some Chinese to my name. Fei Wyatt sounds like a one-of-a-kind name, don’t you think?

The only sacrifice is that I’m going to have to get used to saying “It’s spelled F-E-I, yeah, it’s Chinese” a lot from then on.