If you didn’t already know, Christopher is all I ever really want to think about, talk about and write about. However, I am often hesitant to talk about him and how much I love him for fear that it would appear too…much… gooey, annoying, pompous – or worse: I don’t want people to roll their eyes and think “Oh, they’ve not been together very long, that’s why.”

No. It’s been over 2 years. Sure, we’re not “marriage veterans”. We’re not even married. But we’re certainly not new to each other anymore. There’s still a little left to discover, but not much. No more “getting to know you” conversations. Expectations and disappointments have been dealt with. The quirks that were once mysterious and intriguing became annoying, and now fluctuate between annoying, tolerable and endearing. Our relationship isn’t like a brand spanking new pair of shoes you just got from the store. It’s your 2-year-old pair of flip-flops – your most comfortable footwear – that you wear everywhere that no longer gives you blisters in between your toes.

The most rewarding thing about this whole thing is finding out that we only get more into each other with time. I’m amazed by how many more reasons I find to love him everyday. And I hear it gets better. By the way, the holding hands thing hasn’t gotten old. I don’t expect it to. Apparently we like showing each other off still.

Sure, it’s not always intense movie moments with the perfect music in the background. Sometimes we’re really “bleh” and uninteresting. Sometimes, I’m frumpy and  he’s got bad breath. Other times, we snap at each other – especially when we’re cranky/tired/hungry/overly sensitive for no reason. I can’t say we’re one of those couples who’ve never fought – because we have. We don’t shout and scream or anything scary like that, but we’re both pretty strong willed and when our ideas come in conflict with each other, they need to be resolved and we don’t always do it in the best way possible (I like getting things my way.) I can create drama, cry *a lot* over stupid little things, hurt his feelings… Selfishness and stupidity (mostly on my part) certainly can disrupt the harmony. But it never lasts. We don’t let it.

We’re flawed, and the relationship is a constant work in progress so it’s not all butterflies and roses all the time, but as long a we don’t expect it to be, we’re ok. We’re a unit and when we remember that our greatest joys and sorrows are centered upon each other, we’ll do whatever it takes. That’s what makes it a great relationship: not that we’re two people so perfectly suited for each other that there are no problems at all, but that when problems do surface, we try to overcome them together.

All this talk about Christopher… I miss him terribly. He’s my best friend. There’s not a moment that I don’t wish we were together. I get lonely; I miss his company, going places, eating meals with him. I miss his smell, cuddling on the couch, being held, running my fingers through his hair, having him to play games with, or even just having him around to love the games that I do so I feel less weird. I miss going home to him at the end of the day… Heck, sometimes I even miss having him to bicker with. I just miss him.

But I’m not sad. Sure I get sad probably more often than most people do. I cry every night because of the homesickness, yes. Nothing is as enjoyable as it could be if he were here. Nothing. Still, that is not sadness. There’s no reason for me to be sad, just impatient. I have the love of the most incredible guy in the world and when I remember why he chooses me it’s really hard not to be at the top of the world.

Our love is joy. It’s magical. It’s like the tackiest, sappiest, happiest, cutest Owl City song ever. It makes you want to burst, laugh, jump, shout it off the rooftops, sing, dance, cry, write poetry and music (and stay up past 6am just to write this blog post)- all at once. Why am I telling you all this? Because I want you – everyone – to know, and for me to always remember, that it’s *really* all that good. It can really be that good.

I love you, Christopher. So very, very, very much. I can’t tell you just how grateful I am for what we have. And the best is yet to come. Always.